Communicating To Results, Beyond Judgments To Actions
David B. Ellis With citations for publication.
Orientation: Control and Surrender
This work focuses exclusively on what the individual communicator can actually control and surrendering everything else.
Surrender is defined as accepting, allowing, releasing, permitting, not fighting, and not resisting. It does not mean giving up or being passive. It means stopping the attempt to control what cannot be controlled [1].
We surrender control of other people because we cannot control their thoughts, feelings, or actions. We surrender the past because it cannot possibly be changed. We surrender the future because it cannot possibly be predicted. We also surrender the present moment because it is already occurring [1].
This does not mean we cannot learn from the past or prepare for the future. It means we surrender to whatever future is showing up. Similarly, we surrender to what is occurring right now.
The only thing we can ever change is what we are doing. Our actions.
This surrender reduces guilt and shame related to the past and minimizes worry and anxiety about the future [2].
Focus Only on What Is Controllable
Everything an individual can control ultimately reduces to actions or movements of the body.
You are in charge of your body. You are in charge of the air you breathe and how much and how frequently you breathe it. You are in charge of what you eat and drink and how much. You are in charge of your hands. They never eat, drink, write, touch, or gesture on their own. You are also in charge of your mouth. It never says anything independently [1].
People often speak as if this is not true. They say things like, “I don’t know what came over me” or “It just came out.” A more accurate way of speaking is to acknowledge what was said, learn from it, and revise it [1].
Speaking again to correct a statement is usually more effective than silence.
Speaking Is a Primary Practice
Communicating To Results places high importance on speaking out loud.
Speaking clarifies our desires, our observations, our past actions, and our intended future actions. Speaking slows down our thinking and introduces structure and sequence [3].
Our thoughts often operate at more than 2,000 words per minute in a random and haphazard fashion. Speaking slows this to fewer than 200 words per minute, which is usually much more structured and analytical [3][4].
Speaking involves the entire body. It includes breath, movement, sound, and hearing. When we speak, we hear our own voice—the voice our consciousness has heard more than any other since its beginning. This embodiment reinforces learning and creates stable patterns of action [2].
Observation without Interpretation
This teaching emphasizes focusing on observable behavior rather than interpretation. Thus the part of the name Beyond Judgments To Actions.
We can observe what people say, what they do, and when they do it. We cannot observe another person’s thoughts, feelings, or intentions. Our inferences and judgments about them are often wrong [3].
Although our own thoughts and feelings are important, they do not have to drive our actions. We can notice thoughts, be aware of them, and hold them lightly rather than letting them control behavior [2].
Honor Feelings
People are encouraged to experience their emotions fully, honor them, learn from them, and release them.
Feelings are best released through direct experience—through tears, laughter, shouting, movement, and other forms of expression [5]. Speaking feelings can sometimes help, but it often interferes with fully experiencing them.
In this work, speaking feelings is primarily useful as a path toward discharge and release, not as a way of explaining or justifying behavior [5].
Think Less. Speak More. Write Lots.
One of the more controversial distinctions in Communicating To Results is the recommendation to think less and speak more.
Thinking tends to loop. Speaking structures. Writing organizes [6].
Writing without first speaking often misses a critical step. Our thoughts swirl through our minds at more than 2,000 words per minute–WPM. We speak at fewer than 200 WPM. When we write carefully, most of us type fewer than 20 WPS and handwrite fewer than 10 WPM. [6][7].
Speaking first slows and organizes thinking so that writing becomes clearer and more effective.
Radical Self-responsibility
This work moves individuals into radical self-responsibility. Releasing all judgments.
We are participants in whatever is occurring around us. Our bodies took us where we are. Our senses reveal what is happening. Our actions contribute to what occurs next [1].
Judgments and interpretations are noticed and released. They are not eliminated, but they are not allowed to control behavior.
Communicating To Results, Beyond Judgments To Actions moves people away from the roles of victim, persecutor, and rescuer [8].
Blaming others, excusing ourselves, or rescuing others keeps people at the mercy of their environment rather than led by choice. This teaching emphasizes agency over fault and responsibility over blame [8].
From Linear to Correlated Thinking—and Beyond
This work moves beyond single-cause, single-effect explanations.
Instead, it adopts a correlated, multicausal view in which every effect arises from many contributing factors and every cause produces multiple effects [9]. It even goes beyond statistical analysis of variance to a quantum-influenced understanding in which observation alters behavior.
Most communication is still based on a linear, Newtonian view of the world. Communicating To Results reflects a more correlated view consistent with modern scientific understanding [9] including Quantum physics.
Linguistic Distinctions
Many linguistic habits interfere with surrender, responsibility, and effective action.
Minimize questions.
Questions often guide or attempt to control the speaker rather than allowing them to fully express themselves. Questions frequently contain advice disguised as curiosity [3]. They can be replaced by clear statements of desire.
Avoid answering why questions.
Why often leads to psychological explanations and defensiveness. Human beings are too complex to be explained accurately through such narratives [2][3]. These questions can be replaced with statements of clarity or benefit-based inquiry.
Replace but with and or or.
The word but negates or resists the first part of a sentence. Separating ideas into two sentences reinforces surrender rather than resistance [1].
Avoid however and therefore.
These words often imply false single-cause logic and invite argument rather than exploration [9].
Stop all justifying, excusing, or explaining.
These communications reinforce a lack of responsibility and do not change outcomes. Description of past actions and planned actions is more effective [1].
Stop saying “I’m sorry.” And mistakes.
Apologies often reinforce guilt rather than learning. Clear description and future action produce better results [1][10].
References (APA-style)
[1] Ellis, D. (1981). Becoming a Master Student. Boston, MA: Houghton Mifflin.
[2] Jenkins, H. (n.d.). Counseling approaches emphasizing emotional processing and release.
[3] Levelt, W. J. M. (1989). Speaking: From intention to articulation. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
[4] Korba, R. J. (1990). The rate of inner speech. Perceptual and Motor Skills, 71(3), 1083–1090.
[5] Jenkins, H. (n.d.). Emotional release and embodied experience in counseling practice.
[6] Flower, L. & Hayes, J. R. (1981). A cognitive process theory of writing. College Composition and Communication, 32(4), 365–387.
[7] Mueller, P. A. & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2014). The pen is mightier than the keyboard. Psychological Science, 25(6), 1159–1168.
[8] Karpman, S. (1968). Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional Analysis Bulletin.
[9] Dewey, J. (1938). Experience and education. New York, NY: Macmillan.
[10] Ellis, D. (2026). Thinking Versus Speaking and Writing Rates. Unpublished manuscript.
